I Turn From the Sun and Towards the Night
by LoveisaGamble
Summary: Chapter 2 up. This is a serious fic about their emotions and desires. It takes place post game and movie. Tifa realizes she finally has what she wants, but it feels so wrong. Hope you enjoy.
1. One Breath at a Time

**Disclaimer: Square stuff belongs to Square the rest to me.**

**Well it's been forever and a day since I have bothered writing, though I think I now have it in my heart to make another attempt. Hope you like my new work, in later chapters my fiancé will be helping me write.**

**This fic takes place after the game and after Advent Children, but makes few references to the movie.**

Chapter I: One breath at a time

I run my hands through my hair as I look down the gravel road. The air is sweet with the scent of flowers opening to the warm spring sun. This is the first time I have stopped since I left Midgar; I guess I was afraid that if I stopped I might go back. After all my fighting, and patience Cloud finally came around. He would be with me and we could be a true family, but a few hours after his promise I realized what a mistake I had made. We where not a real family, far from it actually. Barret really brought it to my attention, while we where in my bar celebrating a second great victory.

"Tifa yer 22! Too damn young to be settling down with the world on yer damn shoulders! I should be takin' care of Marlene, she's my kid damn it. I love you like a daughter, but hell I aught to knock some sense into ya. I want you ta live yer life for yerself; I'll be takin' Marlene and Denzel with me, I want ya to be able to live free of responsibilities."

Barret wrapped a big meaty arm around me to assure me that everything was alright.

"I know you a right Barret; I'm just so used to having to look after some one. I really don't know what I would do with myself with no responsibilities." I sighed and slouched with my elbows on the wooden bar.

"Ya know ya can chase whatever ya what." Barret smiled and nodded towards Cloud who was across the room speaking with Cid.

"…Yeah I guess." I looked at the ring on my finger. It was at that moment when I realized I had been fighting for something I could never have.

"C'mon girl tell me what yer thinkin'." Barret pulled his arm away and turned to look me in the eye. I looked away.

"How can I have a heart that someone has already given away?" I sighed again and looked at Barret. "It's not fair to him, can't help who he loves."

"I guess I can't argue with that, whatcha gonna do then? Ya gotta tell him seeing as he gave ya a ring an all." He smiled at me.

"I'll tell him, and I think I'm going to leave. If I leave within a couple of hours I'll be at Kalm by nightfall. I packed a few hours ago. I have gil from selling some of my own materia, maybe I'll get a place in Costa del Sol. I'll start a new life; I'll be free of my past. If I don't leave now, I don't think I'll ever have the strength to again." I smiled weakly hoping for his approval.

"Keep yer PHS on so I can ring ya." He smiled and hugged me.

So here I am walking down the road towards Kalm, I have to free my heart and put as much distance between Cloud and myself as possible. I listen as the gravel crunches softly beneath my feet. A mild breeze rushes through the tall grass at the side of the road. I hope I have made the right decision, there is no going back, and Cloud won't take me back. I have the whole world in front of me but I don't know what to do.

"Cloud I need to talk to you." I pulled Cloud aside when he had finally broken from a conversation. "Could we go upstairs?" He looked at me with confusion filling his glowing eyes.

"Uh… of course are you ok?" He followed me up the stairs and into our room. I closed the door behind us so we could have our privacy.

"I guess." I took off my ring and placed it in his hands. "I can't be with you Cloud. I'm sorry"

"Tifa… I thought you wanted this." He was shocked this was the last thing he had expected from me.

"That's just it Cloud, you think that I want this. Don't get me wrong I do, but you are doing these things because I want them." I cursed myself as I started to weep; I really had hoped that I could have held my tears at bay. "I want you to do what you want, because it is in your heart. I know your heart is still hers."

"Tifa that's." I cut him off I couldn't risk hearing him say other wise.

"Cloud stop it! I know where your heart lies, I can tell when you look at me and when you touch me." I nodded towards his hands which where holding my arms. "We have been using each other because it feels safe. You don't love me the way that I want you to and I'm not the girl you really love."

"Tifa don't…" He whispered in my ear holding me against his chest. I knew where this was going he would appeal to the one thing we truly had in common. Lust for each other. He kissed my lips; I could feel the hunger behind his as I kissed him back. He buried a hand in my hair and his other held the small of my back. I felt my blood burn for him. I wanted to give in, I wanted to fall into the escape of sex, but this time I couldn't. I pushed him away from me, and when I saw his eyes I could see his desperation. "Tifa? Please give me a chance."

"Cloud you don't need a chance. You've done nothing wrong; we can't help who we fall in love with. Maybe one day you can find someone who you can love as much as you loved her. I know its not me, and I need to find some one who can love me as much as I love him. We are bad for each other Cloud; we'll never be satisfied or whole if we stay together." He stepped back and sat on the bed I knew the truth had hit him. I picked up my bag and opened the door.

"I still like you Cloud I just can't bear to love you any more." I looked back at him as he sat on the soft covers. I wanted to feel his hands on my bare skin; I wanted him to kiss me all over. I shook my head to try to dispel my thoughts. He didn't say anything he knew he couldn't follow me. I left through the back entrance I wanted to avoid anymore temptations to stay.

It's almost evening; the sun is getting close to setting. I can see the small houses of Kalm in the distance. Not much longer and I can get a room at the inn. Funny how it's emotions not battles that really drain me of my strength and energy. My stomach growls, as I realize that I have not eaten since this morning. I'll have to remember to grab a bite before I settle down for the night. I shift my bag on my shoulders trying to get it to rest more comfortably. This is a lot more difficult than I thought, I thought I would be moving on one day at a time, but it feels like I am going one breath at a time. I want to turn back and run towards the familiar, the safe. It is at that moment when I realize that I am not alone on the road, I should have known better than to get lost in thought while walking alone down a road. I'm sure it's no threat but better to be safe than sorry. I adjust my gloves just in case. As I turn around a familiar husky voice greets me.

"I see that we are traveling in the same direction. Perhaps I could accompany you once again?" I smile as I meet his familiar blood red eyes.

**Well here it is I'm writing again. Finally. I love reviews they encourage me to update faster. I think this is going to be a very serious fic, but hey that all depends on what happens when Falkon joins me and starts writing. Any way catch you later.**

**I love you Falkon.**


	2. My Desire

**Disclaimer: Square stuff belongs to Square the rest to me.**

**Sorry about the great length between updates, a bit of writer's block, a new job, and lot's of stuff to paint. Anyway I hope you like it.**

Chapter II: My Desire

This was not what I had expected from Tifa; however this was not the first time the lovely lady had surprised me. I had seen her walking down the road a fair distance ahead of me and it was not like her to be so unaware of her surroundings. It was virtually no effort to catch up to her and take her by surprise. Her lips where smiling but her eyes revealed a heavy heart.

"Vincent, I thought you were with the others. I didn't expect you to be out here." She stumbles over her words. I can not help but contemplate on what is eating at her mind apparently things are not as blissful as she had tried to make them seem in Midgar.

"Well, I did not foresee meeting you out here either. You did not answer my question. If you wish I could leave you to your thoughts." I step closer to her as I speak, though I do not know what possesses me to step within her personal space.

"I'm sorry Vincent; of course I would welcome your company. Why are you leaving Midgar so early? I would expect after traveling all the way here you would want to stay a bit longer before leaving." She is concealing her vulnerability within small talk.

"I am not one for crowds or celebrations." I state. A light breeze picks up and brings the most delightful scent to me. I close my eyes and draw a deep breath enjoying her sweet soft aroma. I open my eyes as the gentle wind once again settles. My eyes met hers again and I can tell what she is looking for, she expected me to start prying answers from her as to why she is here. I know full well why she is here; I have been watching her for the past few days. She had been wrestling with her heart; I could see how she looked at him. The pain her love caused her, I knew that feeling quite well.

"I have heard that a healthy love does not hurt, I have not actually found it so I cannot be certain. Yet I have faith that it is true." Her eyes drop as she shifts uncomfortably and sighs. "I do not expect you to tell me what happened or why, but if ever wish too I will listen." She looks up once again and tries to smile.

I reach out to her and cup her cheek with my right hand. I realize my mistake too late to draw away; as I feel that soft warm flesh against my hand I am consumed by my own desire. My heart begins to race and it feels as if my blood itself is on fire. Her lips part ever so slightly as she leans so gently into my hand. I can feel my mouth get dry and my chest tighten. My heart screams to be closer to her, and with what little willpower I retain I try to pull my hand away. Before I can regain control of my arm Tifa does the one thing that could doom me, she brings her left hand up to her cheek and presses it against my hand holding it there, and her eyes gaze into mine as if she can see through and into my heart.

Moments seem like ours as I debate whether I pull away or embrace her, I am relieved when she makes the decision herself and pulls away.

"Thank you Vincent, I am really happy that you are here with me." She glances around as I drop my hand back to my side. "It's getting dark; we should get to Kalm as soon as possible."

We both turn and without another word we continue the journey to Kalm, we leave each other to ponder our own thoughts. I go back to the one I have been considering for over two years now. The overpowering reaction I have in Tifa's presence is it lust or love? My desire to be near her drew me out of my coffin as desirable as vengeance is this is something far beyond that. When all was said and done why could I not part from her completely, why was it so easy to abandon all the others yet feel this passion for her? I have never known myself to be a passionate person yet she somehow brings it out in me.

I watch her long slender legs traverse the road with the grace and dexterity of a cat, as if every move is carefully calculated and exercised. Her delicate brown furrows ever so slightly as she mulls over her own thoughts. She unconsciously runs her hands through her long silky hair. My revere is broken as I hear the noises of Kalm; I look toward the town seeing the towns people prepare for the night.

I follow Tifa into the inn where we rent two beds from the many on the second level. The old hardwood stairs creak beneath our feet as we turn in for the night, neither of us having any desire to find supper. The light is dim in the room as we enter Tifa places her pack on the bed farthest from the stair and near a window. I hang my cape over a bed post of the one next to hers. She has yet to speak to me since being on the road; in fact she has yet to even look at me. I note that we are the only two in the inn this evening, not surprising for a small town like Kalm. Tifa takes off her boots and stretches out across the bed inadvertently showing off her glorious figure I turn away from her and sit on the opposite side of my bed to remove by boots, the metal from them clanks against the hardwood floor. I stretch my toes enjoying the sudden freedom of movement and lack of weight.

Everything is silent for several minutes before I hear Tifa move again to turn off the source of our light, the bedside lamp. I still do not dare turn around, I finally unbutton my shirt and hang it on the bedpost overtop of my cape. I rest my hands on the blanket I am sitting on, though not the most beautiful of colours it is remarkably soft. Unexpectedly the other side of my bed sinks down slightly as someone climbs onto it. Before I can turn and ask what is going on slender agile arms snake under my own and wrap around my chest. I feel her soft breasts press up against my back. My breath catches in my throat as I feel her warm breath on the back of my neck. With what little control I have I manage to utter one word.

"Tifa?" By then it is far too late.

**Well here you go. My brain seems to be on track again so I should be able to update much more frequently. Let me know what you think it usually keeps me from doing something brainless. **


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